Spam is a pain in the ass, but sometimes it’s entertaining. Take a look at this one that I got at work:
—–Original Message—–
From: sds@deutschland.de
Sent: Sunday, August 24, 2003 3:30 PM
To: Chris Bellini
Subject: Warp Watch Needed oukkjv ll lrpmg
Importance: High
Hello,
I’m a time traveler stuck here in 2003.
Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me.
Since nobody in this timeline seems to be able to deliver what I need (safely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circuit to get where I need myself. While it might be hard to find parts in this time to build anything decent, I need easy to follow schematics from the future to build one which is safe and accurate that will not disrupt the time space continuum with both forward and backward capability accounting for temporal location settings (X, Y, Z, n), which can be built out of (readily available) parts here in 2003. Please email me any plans you have. I will pay good money for anything you send me I can use. Or if you have a dimensional warp generator available, and are 100% certain you have a (safe secure) means of delivering it to me please also reply with a secure way to contact you. Send a separate email to me at:
webmaster@custompaintshop.net
Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.
Thank You
Brian Appel
assistanceu ejzoed g bi
kazmh tflq
emejol
wx
msfenso
Gonna go back in tiiiiime 😉
PS: I filled in the “from” section with his email addy. The “from” section was blank when I received it, but the dumbass probably isn’t aware of all the goodies that can be found in email headers.
