Dena and I were watching Cribs on MTV a couple nights ago. Cribs is the show where they have celebrities give tours of their homes and on the episode we saw, it was with Macy Gray, Brian McKnight and Sully from Godsmack. Obviously all of these homes are all posh with plenty of bling bling.
I suggested to Dena that we get a video camera and do our own Cribs episode. Picture if you will…
Welcome to the home of Dena Nantelle – legal assistant and Chris Bellini – underpaid software developer. This is a three-story walkup done in a classical style. Note the faux dents and scratches in the halls of the, ahem, complex. Enjoy the melange of cigarette/marijuana smoke and body odor that create the overpoweringly intoxicating aroma in the building. Marvel at the flourishes of mud and assorted stains on the stairs. As we enter Dena and Chris’ apartment, er, suite you will be greeted by a majestic 75cm x 50cm foyer. Your feet will be treated to a pampering while standing on the $10 floor mat from Casa de Wal-Mart. While the space can be described as cozy, you cannot deny the spacious feeling conjured by the dirty white pseudo dry wall. Go ahead, lean up against it. It will move with your body like a comfy blanket. Follow us into the kitchen and note the cheap floor tile, especially the area that the cats keep launching shit onto from their litter box. Pull up a seat to the kitchen table and run your hands across the nicks and dents in it. You can just *feel* the damaged goods discount from the Brick in them. Enter the kitchenette, but one at a time please. The kitchenette is very cozy. Feel the cooling mist from the fountain that is the faucet that never ceases to drip. Careful of the closet door in the kitchen that regularly falls off its hinges. It’s supposed to do that and what a rush it is when it does. Let’s make our way down the hall to the thinking room, nay, the bathroom. See that irremovable scum on the bathtub/shower? Nice touch indeed as is the Nintendo Gameboy on the toilet; very la-de-da. Enter the bedrooms and be sure to marvel at the even-cheaper-than-the-rest-of-the-tile floor tile. You can’t help but feel the sense of ruggedness from the black glue that has seeped through and dyed the floor tile. Venture back out to the living room and allow yourself to let the tensions of the day melt away on the footon couch. Are you in the mood to workout? Do a couple lifting reps of the footon’s lead-like mattress. Gaze at the outside vista through the patio doors, but be wary on the balcony as that is the mud dauber wasps’ domain.
Well, a good time was had by all. This is how we live. Now get the hell out! 😉
