At exactly 7:00PM EST this evening, my mom peacefully passed away with myself, Dena and my dad at her side. Her weakened immune system couldn’t take anymore. Her non-Hodgekin’s Lymphoma tumor on top of her left lung was receding and the one on her neck was completely gone. But her ability to fight off infections was gone as well. ICU doctors, nurses, Oncologists and Infectious Disease Specialists at Grand River Hospital did everything they possibly could.
My mom was exactly that, a mom – in the truest sense of the word. She always put my dad and me ahead of everything. When we came home from work and school, supper was waiting for us. She was never too tired, too busy, too angy, too drunk (she never drank), too apathetic to do anything for us. If I needed a ride somewhere, she did it. If I needed a button sewn, she did it. If I needed to rant and vent, she listened…even if she had no clue what I was talking about. She was my biggest fan, even though she couldn’t comprehend what I actually do for a living. But she was always quick to brag, “my son does stuff with computers…programming or something hard like that”. It didn’t matter if I was in grade school, university or working, she always wanted to know how my day was – no detail was too small for her, even if it was to me. My mom wanted to know I was safe. Even now as an adult, I had to check in with her almost immediately upon arrival when I’d go on long trips. Or she’d watch out the living room window while I left to go to school, work or out for the evening. Her intense mothering would sometimes get on other people’s nerves. Hell, it got on my nerves sometimes, too. But I know why she did it, and I think only now I am appreciating it.
It’s quite sad to think about how relatively young she was. She was only 38 days from her 61st birthday and 10 days from her 34th wedding anniversary. Most of her life was spent as a homemaker and a mom. It wasn’t until these past few years since my parents moved to Kitchener that she got a chance to do the things she always wanted to do. She travelled to Montreal, New York and Branson, but there were other places that she wanted to go, too. She visited all sorts of places and events in southern Ontario, shopped and generally enjoyed life now that she had fewer obligations. However, she won’t get to experience grandchildren, which really bums me out. She’ll never get to see what I’d make of myself, so that she’d know all of her sacrafices weren’t in vain. I know that I didn’t turn out the way that she had wanted, but I hope that I at least made her somewhat proud.
If possible, please make dontations in my mom’s name to either the Canadian Cancer Society, Grand River Regional Cancer Centre or the Grand River Hospital.
🙁
10 Responses to "i miss my mom :("
Chris. Esther’s and my hearts go out to you and your family.
My thought and prayers are with you and your family.
I recently lost my father to Fibrosis of the Lungs or “miner’s lung” in his case, so I understand how one feels in this situation. If I may offer something (take it for what you will); take solice in the fact that there is peace for a loved one, and don’t stress on what could’ve been – instead cherish what was.
God’s Speed.
JW
Chris, I’m so very sorry. I only met your mom once, but she struck me as being very welcoming, warm and incredibly proud to be able to see you marry Dena. Hang in there.
Chris, im so sorry…you know that i know how you feel…ill talk to you soon…
I can’t express how sorry I am to hear of your loss, you and your family our in my thoughts and prayers!
Hey Sweetie,
Just so you know—she’ll be watching over you and Dena, watching over the grand child–whenever that may be. Like what was already said–remember what was –the fun times and even the bad times–there are lessons to be learned. Love you both!!!
Dear Chris and Dena,
Paul and I wanted to express our sorrow, on your loss of your Mom.
I read your note about Claudette, and was so deeply moved by your thoughts
Mom’s are truely the heart of the family. I know right now yours is breaking, but please take some comfort in knowing Chris that your buddies here in Timmins, Love you , and are praying for you and your family..
Take care, Love Mern and Paul
chris: i’m thinking of you, dena and your family. stay strong and remember all of the wonderful times and experiences you shared with your mom. she sounds like she was a truly incredible woman and one of the best mom’s out there. lots of love, erin
Christopher,
What a beautiful way to say goodbye to your mom. I know you loved her very much and will miss her for the rest of your life.
She was a great mother, and a great aunt to Paul and I. Even though she was sick, she still managed to send my boys Madagascar pajamas for Christmas. She never forgot any holidays or my birthday all of these years. My heart hurts for you so much right now, but I know Christopher you are strong, and you have Dena who is wonderful and supportive wife. You know I am not religious so i won’t write about the God-part, but I do believe this is all part of growing up and life, both the joyous times and the sorrow. Take care. We have made a donation to the Canadian Cancer Society in aunt Claudette’s memory.
Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and kind words. I know that this would’ve made my mom extremely happy to see. Big thanks to Chico and Mel for coming down all the way from Timmins on one day’s notice to attend the funeral – that was a nice suprise and I appreciate it.