At exactly 7:00PM EST this evening, my mom peacefully passed away with myself, Dena and my dad at her side. Her weakened immune system couldn’t take anymore. Her non-Hodgekin’s Lymphoma tumor on top of her left lung was receding and the one on her neck was completely gone. But her ability to fight off infections was gone as well. ICU doctors, nurses, Oncologists and Infectious Disease Specialists at Grand River Hospital did everything they possibly could.
My mom was exactly that, a mom – in the truest sense of the word. She always put my dad and me ahead of everything. When we came home from work and school, supper was waiting for us. She was never too tired, too busy, too angy, too drunk (she never drank), too apathetic to do anything for us. If I needed a ride somewhere, she did it. If I needed a button sewn, she did it. If I needed to rant and vent, she listened…even if she had no clue what I was talking about. She was my biggest fan, even though she couldn’t comprehend what I actually do for a living. But she was always quick to brag, “my son does stuff with computers…programming or something hard like that”. It didn’t matter if I was in grade school, university or working, she always wanted to know how my day was – no detail was too small for her, even if it was to me. My mom wanted to know I was safe. Even now as an adult, I had to check in with her almost immediately upon arrival when I’d go on long trips. Or she’d watch out the living room window while I left to go to school, work or out for the evening. Her intense mothering would sometimes get on other people’s nerves. Hell, it got on my nerves sometimes, too. But I know why she did it, and I think only now I am appreciating it.
It’s quite sad to think about how relatively young she was. She was only 38 days from her 61st birthday and 10 days from her 34th wedding anniversary. Most of her life was spent as a homemaker and a mom. It wasn’t until these past few years since my parents moved to Kitchener that she got a chance to do the things she always wanted to do. She travelled to Montreal, New York and Branson, but there were other places that she wanted to go, too. She visited all sorts of places and events in southern Ontario, shopped and generally enjoyed life now that she had fewer obligations. However, she won’t get to experience grandchildren, which really bums me out. She’ll never get to see what I’d make of myself, so that she’d know all of her sacrafices weren’t in vain. I know that I didn’t turn out the way that she had wanted, but I hope that I at least made her somewhat proud.